Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Forgot: A South Asian Man's Guide to Somatic Healing
Three years ago, I sat in a therapist's office talking about my childhood for the hundredth time. I could analyze my trauma, intellectualize my patterns, and explain exactly why I self-medicated with gambling and substances.
But nothing changed.
My body still carried the tension. My nervous system still triggered at the slightest stress. The trauma lived in my muscles, my breath, my posture - places that talking therapy couldn't reach.
That's when I discovered something that changed everything: the body keeps the score.
The Prison of Stored Trauma
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk revolutionized trauma understanding with his book "The Body Keeps the Score." His research showed that traumatic experiences don't just live in our memories - they're stored in our nervous system, our muscles, our very cells.
For South Asian men especially, this hits different. We're raised to suppress emotions, to "man up," to carry family honor on our shoulders. Decades of cultural conditioning create layers of stored tension that traditional talk therapy struggles to access.
Your body remembers:
Every time you were told not to cry
Every expectation you couldn't meet
Every moment you chose others' approval over your authentic self
Every time you smiled while dying inside
This isn't weakness. This is biology. And there's a way out.
Why Animals Heal Faster Than Humans
Ever watched a gazelle after escaping a lion? It doesn't develop PTSD. Instead, it shakes - literally trembles from head to toe for several minutes. Then it calmly returns to grazing.
Animals instinctively discharge traumatic energy through movement. Humans? We think our way out of everything. We suppress the shake, intellectualize the experience, and wonder why we're stuck in chronic anxiety.
The solution isn't in your head. It's in your body.
5 Somatic Healing Practices That Actually Work
1. Basic Shaking (The Foundation)
Start here. It's free, private, and immediately effective.
How to do it:
Stand with feet hip-width apart
Begin bouncing gently on your toes
Let the movement travel up through your body
Allow your arms, shoulders, and head to shake naturally
Continue for 5-15 minutes
Notice what emotions or sensations arise - don't judge, just observe
This isn't exercise. It's discharge. You're literally shaking off stored stress and trauma.
2. Qigong (Energy Cultivation)
Ancient Chinese practice that combines movement, breath, and meditation. Perfect for men who need structure and philosophy behind their healing.
Why it works: Qigong moves stagnant energy (trauma) through your system while building inner strength. It's meditation in motion, accessible to anyone regardless of flexibility or fitness level.
Start with: "Lifting the Sky" - a simple movement that opens your chest and releases emotional blockages stored in your heart space.
3. 5Rhythms (Emotional Release Through Dance)
Created by Gabrielle Roth, 5Rhythms takes you through five emotional landscapes: Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical, and Stillness.
This isn't choreographed dance. It's authentic movement that allows suppressed emotions to surface and release.
For South Asian men: This can feel vulnerable initially. Start at home, alone. Put on music and simply move however your body wants to move. No judgment, no performance.
4. Ecstatic Dance (The Whirling Connection)
Think of the Sufi whirling dervishes - they understood something profound about movement and transcendence. Ecstatic dance taps into that same transformative power.
The practice: Set aside 20-30 minutes, choose music that moves you, and dance like no one's watching. Let your body lead, not your mind.
The breakthrough: When you stop controlling the movement and let your body express what it needs to express, healing happens.
5. NIA (Neuromuscular Integrative Action)
Combines martial arts, dance, and mindfulness into one flowing practice. Created specifically to help people reconnect with their bodies after trauma or disconnection.
Why it's powerful: NIA teaches you to listen to your body's wisdom rather than forcing it into positions or movements that don't serve you.
The Cultural Challenge (And Why It's Worth It)
Let me be honest - somatic healing challenges everything we were taught as South Asian men.
We're supposed to be stoic, controlled, emotionally contained. The idea of shaking, dancing, or expressing emotion through movement can feel foreign, even threatening to our identity.
But here's what I learned: True strength isn't suppression. It's integration.
The most powerful men I know - entrepreneurs, leaders, change-makers - have learned to work WITH their bodies, not against them. They've discovered that healing their nervous system actually enhances their performance, relationships, and decision-making.
Your Trauma Is Not Your Identity
The body that stores trauma is the same body that can heal it. Every cell that remembers pain can also remember peace. Every muscle that holds tension can learn to release it.
This isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming who you were before the world told you who to be.
Starting Your Somatic Journey
Week 1: Try basic shaking for 5 minutes daily Week 2: Add one other practice (Qigong videos on YouTube are perfect) Week 3: Experiment with movement/dance in private Week 4: Notice the changes - in your sleep, stress response, relationships
The Integration
Somatic healing isn't just about releasing trauma. It's about reclaiming your authentic self - the version of you that existed before cultural conditioning, family expectations, and societal pressure shaped you into someone else's idea of success.
Your body is not just a vehicle for your mind. It's your partner in transformation, your ally in healing, your guide back to authenticity.
The question isn't whether you have stored trauma (we all do). The question is: Are you ready to let it go?
